A Special Dad for Special Needs

As the warm morning light peered into my window this morning, beckoning me to wake up, I opened my eyes to see my husband dressed for business.  His face determined yet tired he was quietly gathering his things to head out the door for another days work.  Although this may seem mundane and ordinary to some, I happen to know why this touched my heart and caused it to swell with a great appreciation and pride for my husband.  Our ten year old son who has Down syndrome has been chronically ill for the past year and a half.  We have been to many doctors, specialists and emergency departments over the preceding year.  Several times his white blood cell count has dropped to a dangerous low, making him vulnerable to sickness with concern that he won’t be able to recover from an ordinary illness.  During these times of neutropenia, he is unable to go into public places, including the grocery store, church or therapy offices.  Currently we are enduring just such a time as we hunker down at home and trust the Lord for time slots that will allow us to go out and buy groceries, run errands and join our church family for spiritual growth and fellowship.  To add to the pressure, experiencing a year and a half of extra medical expenses, therapies and a move to help our sons health issues, we have exhausted many of our resources and my husband and I decided that it would be best for me to go back to work for a season to help replenish some savings and press on in finding some answers to our sons chronic health issues.  With our son’s volatile health in mind, we thought it would be best to work opposite shifts, so that both our sons would either be with Dad or Mom especially since our ten year old has been ill more than he has been healthy this year.  This also allows me to keep my primary job of homeschooling our two sons, managing special health concerns, as well as striving to be the wife, mother and friend that God calls me to be.

Many times I have sat down in exhaustion and called out to the Lord for mercy and strength and even questioned if I could carry on with the demands.  God has always met me at the point of humility and need as I pray with thanksgiving and give my petitions to Him (Philippians 4:6)  One of the most valuable gifts that I receive continually from the Lord is "the peace that surpasses understanding”(Philippians 4:7).  There is so much strength in peace.  Peace without understanding allows the storm to rage all around, unpredictably grabbing and throwing everything around us, yet we can stand confidently in the eye of the storm knowing that the character of God is good and sovereign and there is nothing to fear when we have a reverent fear of God himself.  I don’t understand the storm that we are in with our son right now, but I know that I can have the peace given only from God himself until it passes.

This morning as my husband was carrying on, he was this strength and peace personified.  Never complaining about running to the grocery store on his lunch break or late at night working and teaching the Wednesday night Jr. High at our church (as he had last night), or working extra-long hours to pay for our sons medical needs in addition to everything else that a Dad and husband provides for, or his own physical limitations due to a gunshot to the head as a teen.  He just keeps running the race that is set before him with courage and patience and joy.  Never giving up, looking back or expecting anything less from himself but that which Gods word asks of him.   Just as we are taught to do in Hebrews 12:1 "... let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us..." 

As I looked up to see my husband persevering through another day, pressing on to provide for me and our family, I considered myself extremely blessed.  I have heard it said that 85% of marriages affected by disability end in divorce.  At times my husband and I have discussed this statistic and empathized with people who believed the lie that it would be better to go it alone with a special needs child. And were saddened by those who grew weary and gave up and left the other spouse to pick up the pieces.  There is a tremendous strain put on our marriage with the lack of time together, late nights caring for a sick child and added financial needs, yet our greatest pressure has turned out to be our greatest asset.  Just as a diamond is created by the great pressure of the earth applied to its back in the hand of God the creator; so to I am seeing a diamond of a marriage being created under the pressure of this trial in the hand of God our creator.  The thankfulness and appreciation that I have for my marriage, my husband, my children and the simple gifts of life such as laughter, a sunny day, running errands together, a trip to the movies or baking cookies and having hot cocoa together is a gift that was written on my heart during this trial.  I hope as you read this today, you will seek God as Philippians 4:4-8 (KJV) implores us to “Rejoice in the Lord always; and again I say, Rejoice.  Let your moderation be known unto all men.  The Lord is at hand.  Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest. Whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  Those things which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.” Choose today to receive the peace that surpasses understanding that is promised to all who have received Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior given by the God of peace to enable you to stand strong and be content under the pressure of whatever trial you are in.  Don’t forget to choose to have eyes to see all the diamond like gifts around you from God himself that can warm your heart with thankfulness and appreciation and place a joyful smile upon your face.  Think on these things.  Enjoy these things.  And finally, continue to do what you have learned to do from Gods word in the midst of trials.  In the good times and the difficult it is God’s principles that help guide and protect us. In the very heart of life’s dizzying storms Jesus Christ himself is our anchor, direction and hope.  It is him whom we can steadfastly follow regardless of circumstance as we depend on him to meet all our needs in this life and the life to come.